A Dark and Scary Night

I'm typing this Monday morning because my hands were shaking too much last night. We had "an incident".......

Rox went out about 9:30 PM and came back in to what she apparently thought was a too small treat. So, as she has learned to do, she went back to the door for another "potty trip", thinking I'm sure that two small treats are better than one big one. She's smart, our little girl.

Waiting patiently by the door, I soon hear the most gawd-awful noise. She's barking, screaming, waking the dead in China and bashing up against the chainlink fence like........ I don't know what. Being the modern, independent woman that I am, I immediately called for Bob. I did, after all, have only my jammies and robe on.

We have a huge flashlight by the door, the kind that takes two hands to hold. The beam shines all the way to Chicago, but you have to open the window, then open the screen in order for the light to shine to the back of the yard. Sure enough, we see the fence moving, moving, moving each time Roxie threw herself against it.

By this time, I'd turned on the overhead lights in the family room trying to let more light into the back yard. The neighbor behind us, no doubt curious about the noise, had turned on his backyard flood lights. We had never met him before last night, but Bob and he had a lovely male bonding adventure. Man against dragon, and like that.

Turns out, and here is the heart of the story......... Roxie had found a possum. The critter-who-dared-enter-Roxie's-yard was "treed" on the top of the chainlink fence. Rox was almost able to reach its tail as she jumped. Luckily the stupid possum had the foresight to hang its tail on the neighbor's side of the fence.

You know the story about how this pesky critter "plays possum"? Well, tis true! That little furry idiot froze in place on the fence, as Devil Woman jumped and barked and bashed in a futile attempt at possum-murder.

By this time, several neighbors were out, backyard floodlights were burning the darkness away (lit up like a night-time crime scene on TV) and the cries of his woman had prompted Bob to don his battle gear..... ok, it was really just some shoes, a coat, the leash and the big flashlight, but Bob was pumped. "What do you think it could be?, he asked excitedly, as he primed the flashlight. I attributed his enthusiasm to the proverbial "it's a guy thing" - personally I was wondering if I should call Shane, our neighbor to the west who's a police officer, or call to alert the emergency vet of an incoming patient. I suppose if we'd waited just a little bit longer, the neighbors would have called the cops for us..... er... on us........

Off to battle, a rescue mission to pull Roxie from the certain jaws of death. Or to get her back in the house before the neighbors called the cops.....

Backlit by the bright floodlights I could see the Critter on the fence. The neighbor had his warrior stick and was (carefully) hitting the fence trying to get the possum to leave town and Roxie was following right under the deadly trespasser. Possum moved three feet to the left, Roxie moved three feet to the left.

I called (helpfully) from the sunroom "can't you just lean down and pick up the dog?" Bob thought exposing the back of his head to the possum was not a good idea; as he told me later when we were all safely tucked under quilts "those things are nasty, you know - I didn't want it to jump on my back during the rescue. I'd have been right at the fence level....... no, I wasn't going to bend over."

The story ended with the neighbor using his warrior stick to force the possum up a tree, further out of reach. Bob was able to bend over to put Rox's leash on without being attacked from behind by Patty Possum, and we finally got to meet our new neighbor. I'm sure he's formed a highly positive opinion of us.

After a very long and loud 1/2 hour Roxie came running, dancing into the house. "I had me a possum, Mom - it was barkaliciously cool, did you see me? Huh, did you see ?!" Two treats and into her bed under the quilt. Sweet dreams brave girl.........

As I drifted off to sleep, I imagined the possum sitting in the tree thinking "goddam dog."